4.0 Adobe Transient Witticisms™

  • On the internet, no one knows you're a dog!
  • Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of floppies.
  • Power corrupts, but absolute power is really neat.
  • How hard can it be to change the color of a pixel, anyway?
  • Sometimes they disappear on their own, other times burping the kitty seems to help
  • "it can give you the exact mathematical design, but what's missing are the eyebrows.
  • There ain't no rules around here - we're trying to accomplish something
  • so emperically, frogs with unassigned Booleans are deaf!
  • "This filter is better than sex!  Not that I remember" -- unknown engineer
  • Official Photoshop™ Action Figures - collect them all!  Trade with your friends!
  • Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.
  • Hey Andrei - what's up with that?
  • Invoking Photoshop scheduling time distortion field Damn. It jammed.
  • Photoshop scheduling: Give us nine women and one month and we can make a baby
  • You can't miss it. It's the big tower standing in the way of the airplanes.
  • I'll do the stupid thing first and then you shy people follow

From the Home Office in Slack City, USA
Top Ten Signs the Engineering Team has been Working Too Hard:

10. Two cases of Trader Joe's chocolate covered expresso beans all gone in three days
 9. Tom's Beavis imitation starts to sound funny
 8. Mark threatens to start reciting Hamlet soliloquies 
 7. Akiko's rock-solid demeanor showing signs of strain as she Kooshes anyone near her cube
 6. Greg walks around going, "Look at me! I'm a Pooh!" at 4AM
 5. Sean threatens to show up at work wearing only a Newton
 4. When JoeT's bets start sounding like a good idea
 3. Marc thinks he is Buzz Lightyear
 2. You start to think the Photoshop eye is staring back at you

And the number one sign that the Engineering team has been working too hard:
 1. Drool on the keyboards

Adobe Transient Witticisms





The Making of the Cover

©2000 Jeff Schewe